An open letter to dearest Ehud

Adar Bet 4, 5768, 3/11/2008

An open letter to dearest Ehud



we have no way of preventing these rocket attacks from recurring
Our dearest Ehud,
We would like to express our deepest gratitude to you following your visit to Ashkelon earlier today. We found your statement there, to the Jewish people of the city quite informative and encouraging. You told the people to be prepared for more rockets – that you, the prime minister of Israel have no good new for them – that they will have to get used to it, that Israel has no way to stop the rocket attacks. That really is music to our ears.
Ehud, you have now experienced two tastes of our missiles – coming from the north, into Haifa, Safed, Kiryat Shemona, Meron; and now also from the south, into Sderot and Ashkelon, as well as many smaller Jewish communities.
Know, dear Ehud, that this is only the beginning. Soon we are going to up the dosage, and more rockets will rain down upon you, flooding your people from the air. We are going to shoot from the north and south, and also from the north east, hitting major populated Jewish cities, and soon after that, when the new state is established, it should come as no surprise to you when Kfar Saba and Petach Tikva are assailed. And I would suggest that your diplomatic flights in and out of our occupied land not utilize the Ben Gurion airport. We are training very hard and expect to have expert marksmen to shoot down your airplanes. We are sure you wouldn’t want to be on one of those.
And then, our friend, we will really let loose – aha – you really believe that you’ll be able to take out the BIG missiles – we have news for you – our colleague Mahmoud is no Idi Amin, and not even a Sadam Hussein – and besides which, you really think Bush and his cronies in Europe will allow you to endanger world peace – Ah – wait and see.
And you, our beloved one, will continue to tell your fellow countrymen that you have no solution to the rockets. After all, only hours ago you declared,  “Don’t conduct yourselves as though the Grad rocket attacks were not a one-time thing; – we have no way of preventing these things (rocket attacks) from recurring.”
Ah, how right you are.
So, our dearest of friends, we would like to offer you a deal – a kind of solution for you and perhaps, others. Actually you have three choices: You can either: stay where you are and try to catch the falling rockets – and die;
or, we will offer a temporary cease-fire, allowing all of you enough time, let’s say a week or so, to get on ships and planes and get out of our land while you are still alive (we will refrain from aiming at the ships and planes for that period of time);
or finally, if you really wish to stay in our promised land, then very simply, accept that our way is right and your way is wrong. Become one of us.
Those are your three choices, Mr. Prime Minister, who has no solution to our rocket attacks. Those are your solutions. Make your decision and make it fast, because we have no more patience, and will not wait much longer – Prime Minister EHUD  NO SOLUTION.
Kindest regards to your lovely wife, son and daughter,
Hassan, Ismael and Bashar